Showing Up? Are you Ready to Show up?

 show upEvery single day of our lives we make a conscious or subconscious decisions to show up to things; be it work, family, the gym, our children’s activities, our partners. So why is it that in relationships when you start getting closer and try to build a more intimate connection (not necessarily sexual) some of us pull away. Why do we freak and/or flee? Is it fear of the new or unknown? Or are we so used to hurtful and disappointing relationships that when we perhaps find one that is going “well” we say; “Ohh!! this is too good to be true, there must be a catch”. Unfortunately for some, they haven’t had the best experiences and the only way they feel good or worthy is by experiencing pain. If you believe in this deeply, don’t you think that is what will show up again and again. “We are so used to everything that is bad, that when something good happens we doubt if it’s real” Unknown.  Why do we get on our own way of building strong, positive, influential connections? All of these fears are real yet what do you gain from it? No, really! Think about it. It is scary to start from scratch and build something from zero, but didn’t we all start from zero at some point. We started from zero since our inception as kids in this world and we have learned to walk, talk, learn, think on our own, feel, love, know good and bad , etc. Why are we so scare to take the risk and show up? Why are we more focus on things that could go  wrong and loose sight of the possibilities of what could go right? Why not channel all that passion, energy and consciously make a decision to show up and take the risk.  It can either be a great fulfilling experience or a learning opportunity for growth and expansion. Both ways you gain something and you become wiser; and that is something one cannot improvise, you must live it. You have a better chance in succeeding at anything if you just show up!!!

 

3 comments on “Showing Up? Are you Ready to Show up?

  1. Great Blog as always, yes people need to stop being afraid and take a chance ,
    You can’t move on in your life thinking that your bad experiences will repeat, positive thinking and willingness to take chances is what makes life and your experiences wonderful.

  2. Here’s my take on showing up:
    Showing up is hard. Possibly the hardest part for me. When it comes to the gym, work, anything, actually getting there is the hardest part. In relationships, it’s the hardest. Why? you mentioned it above as one of the options, and for me it’s fear of the unknown.
    But like you said, it’s important to show up. Here’s a short but very poignant story of something that happened to me not too long ago. I have a love interest on someone who isn’t aware. But we’re good friends. She was recently involved in a car accident a few states away, and although she’s from my hometown, she was basically stock in a different state for medical reasons. So I did the obvious thing. I jumped in my car and drove 14 hours to go see her. Got to the hospital, no problem. Asked where the room was, made my way up, and then I spent the next 20 minutes standing outside the door to her hospital room. At first I didn’t think about it, but when I went to knock on the door, my knees gave out, my throat shut down, and my heart jumped to 180bpm. I was sweating despite the AC for not particular reason other than the nerves. How will she receive me? will she be mad I drove all the way out here without notice? was this even prudent of me? At the time, I didn’t consider any of this. I just wanted to see her and make sure she was ok. Now I couldn’t even get myself to knock on the door. I went up three times, then kept going back to the chair in the hallway to calm down. Finally I braced myself, knocked on the door, and had one of the best afternoons I’ve ever had in my life. Just in simple conversation.
    Bottomline is, showing up is important, but sometimes the things we make up in our heads end up getting the best of us. My advice is, if you don’t know how something’s gonna hit you, just go for it. Take the hit. Most of the times it’s worth it.

    P.S. In case you’re wondering, no, nothing happened beyond that. No happy ending here. We’re still just good friends. Just friends.

    • I love your story. It is scary to put yourself out there, but no one wants to say to themselves when they’re older; I wish I would have said, done, etc. etc. But what if you tell her how you feel, unless your certain that she does not see you at all as probably you wish she did. Do you think it is a risk worth taking? Either she shows up or she doesn’t, but at least you know exactly where you stand.
      And there is a happy ending, you confronted your fear and you had one of the best days of your life.

      “May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears”

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