Showing Up? Are you Ready to Show up?

 show upEvery single day of our lives we make a conscious or subconscious decisions to show up to things; be it work, family, the gym, our children’s activities, our partners. So why is it that in relationships when you start getting closer and try to build a more intimate connection (not necessarily sexual) some of us pull away. Why do we freak and/or flee? Is it fear of the new or unknown? Or are we so used to hurtful and disappointing relationships that when we perhaps find one that is going “well” we say; “Ohh!! this is too good to be true, there must be a catch”. Unfortunately for some, they haven’t had the best experiences and the only way they feel good or worthy is by experiencing pain. If you believe in this deeply, don’t you think that is what will show up again and again. “We are so used to everything that is bad, that when something good happens we doubt if it’s real” Unknown.  Why do we get on our own way of building strong, positive, influential connections? All of these fears are real yet what do you gain from it? No, really! Think about it. It is scary to start from scratch and build something from zero, but didn’t we all start from zero at some point. We started from zero since our inception as kids in this world and we have learned to walk, talk, learn, think on our own, feel, love, know good and bad , etc. Why are we so scare to take the risk and show up? Why are we more focus on things that could go  wrong and loose sight of the possibilities of what could go right? Why not channel all that passion, energy and consciously make a decision to show up and take the risk.  It can either be a great fulfilling experience or a learning opportunity for growth and expansion. Both ways you gain something and you become wiser; and that is something one cannot improvise, you must live it. You have a better chance in succeeding at anything if you just show up!!!


Freedom or Fear? Part 1

Nelson MandelaHave you ever done anything out of the ordinary? Have you wanted to change jobs but haven’t because you are too comfortable or complacent? Have you tried jumping from a waterfall? (Well, maybe that’s a bit risky, yet have you?) Have you ever tried the cuisine from a different culture? Have you ever done something you were not comfortable with? Have you ever gone against what you are accustomed to? If yes, that is great; but if you haven’t, what is stoping you? Is it a four letter word, called FEAR?  Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. For a lot of us that live in a super developed country where we have the freedom to be, say and do as we wish. We boast about our freedoms and privileges yet we are constantly living in fear. We are scare to travel, to talk to stranger on the train, to connect with people every day, to try new things, the new food, to meet different people than our own, etc., if we are so free why do we fear so many things. Why do we fear to see, to know the truth, to feel, to LOVE ? Can you truly be free? 


Has Anyone Dated the Best of You?

About a month ago I was403cad7974cb9a3c1fecdefa4fed3518 asked this question by a dear friend over text message, it read, “Has anyone dated the best of you?” I never thought about it so it took me by surprise. I could not answer right away and it took me at least two hours to answer what seemed to be a simple yet complex question. As I contemplated the question I could not come up with a good enough answer. It was a bit hard for me because I’d like to think of myself as self-aware with strong views and opinions, which means most of the time I have an opinion or answer, except this time I had nothing. My mind went blank and I couldn’t answer. However, I didn’t want to find just any answer, I wanted to genuinely answer what felt true to me. I thought about it for a while and I came to the conclusion that no one has ever dated the best of me (perhaps I came close once, but I was too young and immature to know if I was really offering the best of myself). It came as a shock a  bit because one always wants to show the best we have to offer, yet most of us come short perhaps due to negative past experiences, fear & mistrust, etc.,  and with those feelings lingering on our subconscious no one will ever date the best version of us (that we must let go of, seriously).

Finally after two hours of contemplating the question, I had it, my closest friends have dated the best of me. Of course, we were not friends that I was romantically involved nor interested in but I think they are the ones that have experienced the best of me. Why? Because they SEE ME for who I am, inside and out. They’ve seen me at my highs, my lows, my strengths, my weaknesses, my flaws and my virtues. No matter what, they have been there for me. Not to say that we are perfect. We get upset from time to time, argue, and some times share difference of opinions yet we always manage to respect, love and support each other regardless. Seems like a pretty healthy relationship to me, no? So what about you? Has anyone dated the BEST VERSION OF YOU? Or is it still a work in progress?


Do you have a Strong Sense of Self? Do you Know YOU? Part 2

Know YouOn Part 1 of my post I talked about what it is to have a Strong SENSE OF SELF, but most importantly how do we get there? It’s hard to pin point when, where or how, no? Some of us do get there sooner than others due to experiences we’ve learned from and have become aware that it is our responsibility to hold our end of the bargain in less than comfortable situations at times. So, which is the best way to asses someone’s sense of self? Is it to test how far can they be influenced by others and their environment? Right now, look at your surroundings and see how much you’re being influenced. Can one tests people’s limits and see how self assured or how confident they are as a person? Is this a strong, confident individual or is it someone who is rather strong on the exterior but weak on the interior? Analyzing someone’s ability or inability to make decisions for themselves and by themselves? Do they trust their intuition? Unfortunately some of us have been in relationships (not necessarily romantic ones) where we want so bad to please that most often than not we end up saying yes to others and no to ourselves, which can many times be bad in the long run. We end up in relationships that are destructive to our souls, manipulative, they undermine your opinions, dismiss your feelings, desires & dreams, etc. But the worst part is that sometimes we think it’s ok. Some people start doing things they would never think of doing in their lifetime (even illicit things). Here are some less than important but valid examples: You start liking red, when you never did before, you buy things that you never needed but since you were somehow influenced, you do (have you heard of the power of persuasion). Another good example is that you stop doing the things you used to enjoy.  Working out, getting your hair done, you  stop or start going to church, you stopped dancing when you loved it before. Even your top priorities in life change; they are not at the top anymore, you don’t have the goals you used to set for yourself,  you now have a mind that is not yours; it is somebody else’s. However, I am not saying you can’t explore new things, yet you have to be mindful that you are ok with it and it’s your intention to expose yourself to those new things because you CHOSE it. Perhaps you will learn something new that you might enjoy; however, let it be your decision and not just the sole influence of another/others. I am personally saddened when listening to stories about women and men in romantic relationships and how they lost themselves in somebody else’s life. How they changed, how they did not recognize themselves any longer or how perhaps they don’t even like who they are now. As far as romantic relationships go, I understand that when one is attached and perhaps in love it can happen, but it is less likely to happen when you have a strong sense of who you are, and what kind of life you want to live. What kind of partner do you want to have and which common goals do you share.  Do you want to live someone else’s life or one that you both created?

Having said all this; in any type of relationships you must  be accountable and responsible for the actions you part take in. Why are you so quick to blame the other when you allowed it in the first place? Why/How did you allow someone else that power over you? Most likely they did not put a gun to your head. It all comes down to how strong your Sense of Self is, self esteem, love and respect for yourself. In conclusion love should be free & respectful; not dismissive nor manipulative. Seek balance, not power, nor perfection. The more you know who you are the less you are prone to be dismantled.

Do you have a Strong Sense of Self? Do you Know YOU? Part 1

smily faceHave you ever asked yourself what is having a  true SENSE OF SELF? Do you find yourself in situations that deep in your gut you are not comfortable with? Do you feel like you ever sabotage yourself and do things to please others, consciously or subconsciously? Or have you always been easily influenced by your peers, somewhat of a pushover? Perhaps most of us in our “younger” less experienced years have encounter some level of low self esteem, shyness, fear , etc., therefore we are not as assertive and strong as we are in adulthood. All is possible. Yet even as adults some of us are still shy, unassertive, lack character and are not as strong as we wish to be. People still push us around; we are still figuring out how to hold our ground. People take advantage of you and/or  we are not strong enough to say stop or to re-asses a difficult situation. In my perspective it’s because we lack a SENSE OF SELF. What is a SENSE OF SELF? To me it’s when you are conscious of who YOU are, what you want and how you choose the things or people from the outside influence your choices; maturity as its best; (hence, you don’t have to have lived for too long to know, just have and learn from experience). It’s being aware of what things you are ok with or not, when to walk away from a situation that does not serve you, or when to jump in, when you always listen to your gut. When you do things you enjoy without caring what others think, when you try new stuff because YOU want to try them and go places you want to explore without the influence of outside sources or peers. When you make decisions about your life,(you welcome support, info and advice yet don’t need approval or reassurance from outsiders), you take full responsibility for your choices and actions. Now, we live in a world that is constantly influencing us to do, think, feel or act a certain way so it would be impossible for us not to be affected.  Yet we can be affected by it to an extent but be aware not to be run by it. I am not saying that we need to go against the world and against our peers just because and be stubborn about it. A person with a strong SENSE OF SELF makes the conscious decision to do, be, feel, act authentically not how he/she thinks should act, they act according to what is true to his/her core values. Part 1

HONOR: high respect, esteem, privilege, pleasure, pride, joy, compliment.

478378875598dee3d594356802f7d2c0As little kids we are always told by our parents to do well in school, behave and pay attention so we get good grades that might even earn us honors in class. This goes from middle school, to honors in high school which might even earn us a scholarship for college. I was an honor student in high school, earned a full scholarship in college however things didn’t turn out as expected. I decided not to take the full scholarship and go to art school to pursue fashion design. Yeah, I know what you are thinking kind of weird, no? Perhaps if I would have taken the scholarship and would have gone to Merrimack College I would probably be in a different career, different state and not even writing at this coffeeshop in Williamsburg. Nevertheless, it has not been easy but I am grateful of the choices that I have made as of now. But going back to the point of being a good student and receiving honors, we are barely taught to honor ourselves as people, or in my case as a woman in schools? Why is that? Is it just me? (I doubt it).

This makes me wonder why is it that nowadays we are always falling short and we forget to put ourselves first, and honor ourselves more. Women these days have come really far in reaching great careers and great fortunes yet when it comes to men some crave love, a great relationship, others marriage, and a family, yet sometimes we put up with disrespect, deceit, and we search for love outside of ourselves when deep inside we know it might not be where we think it is. The love that we desire is really within us and we need to honor (high respect, esteem) ourselves so we can attract that which we desire. (This goes for men also.)

Most likely a man with emotional maturity and masculine energy will find that a woman who knows herself, who has high respect for herself, knows she wants him but does not really need him will cherish and find her one of the most attractive women overall. For some men that are emotionally immature and lack awareness might find these women a bit tough and might not want to invest in them because it makes them uncomfortable and insecure; that is only because they don’t know what they want and are still unsure of themselves. But regardless if you have lived this experience or not make sure you stay true to yourself, love and respect yourself so others will start acting in a way that honors you as a person. You will know the difference when a person acts with high regards and respect for you. “What you allow is what will continue”

What is LOVE? Why is Valentine’s Day the only day to celebrate Love? Why does it seem it’s only for “Lovers”?

LOVELOVE: A feeling of strong and constant affection for a person; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another; attraction that includes sexual desire. These are only a few of the definitions on love I found in the dictionary. Very simple, right? I think it is easy to love; but we make it difficult at least when choosing a romantic partner. But I beg to differ, Love is easy; look at your mom and dad, they love you to the moon and back regardless of how bad you’ve behaved, how immature you are, how stubborn you’ve been etc. of course this is parental love and it starts right at birth when both see their child for the first time and science says at that moment the brain releases oxytocin which is the feel good, pleasure, “the love hormone”. It is as if you are high on love; to the extent that the high that you experience, is the same high as if you were high on cocaine; intense, no? Even though this is parental love, fraternal love can be the same if siblings are brought up together in the same household. However, nowadays we are such sourpuss about romantic love? Love is supposed to be beautiful, no? Well, some of us do not have the best of luck in the romantic department. For some it seems like we are targets for emotionally unavailable partners, some just want to play around, some just want to get in the sack with you, in the interim we sometimes trust the wrong people (yet we kind of know all along that they might have an agenda but we trust our feelings and we get hurt). After all the heartache and headache we become afraid to put ourselves out there; then we get bitter even more around Valentine’s Day. But why is it that Valentine’s Day seems like is only for Lovers? Some might get sad that they don’t have a romantic partner, their love lives are not where they wanted it to be , etc. But I ask, why should there be only one day to celebrate love? Shouldn’t it be an everyday thing? Regardless if you have a romantic partner or not. LOVE is the highest vibrational energy there is in the universe and we only plan to celebrate it one day of the year. It also seems like is only for LOVERS; if either of the partners don’t make huge productions, be it dinner, theater, orchestra, etc then we think they don’t love us. How screwed up are we, that the whole year has been good and one day it all goes down hill? WTH! (Not to imply that we should stop doing the things that our partners will love and appreciate from us after all it is key for love to grow and last; but it should be an easy free willing gesture and not a chore.) Which brings me to my next point.

I grew up in a culture where everyone said; “Feliz dia del Amor y La Amistad,” on Valentine’s Day, meaning happy day of love and friendship. I love this definition of Valentine’s Day because it is celebration of LOVE in every sense of the word, bonding of family, friends and lovers. Not just romantic love, all LOVE. In the US is a bit different; it’s overwhelming and the marketing is geared towards romantic partners and the rest of us I guess are screwed. Therefore no wonder lots of people hate Valentine’s Day and are so pessimistic and negative about it. It shouldn’t be that way; we should strive to be always in love, in love  with yourself, what you do, what you do for others including your family, friends, and/if someone special. We should not wait for a specific day to celebrate LOVE. Love is all around us we should be able to show it in gentle gestures everyday of our lives, for example: Helping an elderly person cross the street, carry some heavy bags for someone, petting your dog or cat; cuddling with your significant other , etc. All of these gestures raise our vibrations positively and become love and love becomes us; therefore we attract more of the things that we love and enjoy. I say do not wait for that one day of the year to show it; show small gestures to your loved ones everyday and you will never need a specific day to celebrated it because everyday of your life you are living in love…

Do you Know your Worth? What is your VALUE?

il_570xN.834270047_3j9gNowadays it is very common to see men and women as “equals”. We held the same positions, we play competitive sports, lots of women have even achieved the presidency, yet I see lots of women with the great career, earning good money and are great people for the most part yet some feel or act invaluable. They obviously have earned VALUE as far as their bank accounts and what they might own yet why are they underselling themselves,(especially to men/partners?) Is it that men are intimidated by these women or is it that some of these women are desperate and insecure about their self worth that the easiest way to show value is by providing; which in most cases is showing up for the men, making it seem to the opposite sex that they are independent, that don’t need a men to provide for them; which is great for her; but why not let the men, show up for you? Why not let the men lead when they want to lead? Why not allow him to protect you, if he chooses? Why not allow men to provide for you, even if he does not have to? (I mean provide in every sense of the word; not just monetarily.) Why not let him earn YOU? Why not let him work for you a little? We are conscious animals as far back as humanity goes, males have higher testosterone levels and built stronger upper bodies so they can protect their mates & offsprings; they have gone out hunting for food for their tribe. Why is it any different now? (well it’s a little different). Nevertheless in most cases men love and appreciate the things that they worked for and earned. For instance, it’s so rewarding when a young kid that’s going to high school or college, goes get a part-time job, he’s saving every penny to buy his first car; once he buys the car he’s probably going to wash the car every other day, shine it, clean the tires, show it off to his friends, etc. and he feels so accomplished and he loves the car not just because he has a good looking car and the ease in his life it provides. It’s more because he takes pride and honor that HE worked for it therefore he deserves it. Of course women are not objects, but I think you get the idea.

It is ok for women to be great at what they do and be successful at it; but it is also ok to be feminine women and to let the men be men. It is ok for the men to be there for you, be strong for you, show up for you and earn your trust, love and affection. This is not a woman that will play hard to get but she will show up as a high value woman for a man. He will notice that and will try to impress you not because he has to, but wants to show you that he is an alpha male that can take care of his woman and wants you to pick him out of the bunch. I am pretty sure if most women show up with a bit more of feminine energy and self worth they will attract more men that will see that and be willing to pursue them if they so wish. As I said previously, times have changed and there are more women now that are as successful as their counter parts yet that does not mean that they should take on the roll of the men. (Remember we all play a roll in nature, women are forever conceivers and men are providers) only if they wish to and they feel like they want to play that roll to perhaps feel more in control than is certainly her choice. On another note, even if you are not the woman that is at the top of her game right now; you should still show up as a beautiful high value woman that is deserving and worthy of a great man. Now, I am not saying that women should play princesses and take advantage. She also has to provide and be supportive, build her man up, and he will become a better man, even more a better human being for society. Don’t they say “Behind every successful man, there’s a strong woman”. Ok, most of my article is geared towards women and their self worth; but it also applies to men. Men also can show up as high value; a man that is confident, not needy or clingy, strong, independent and a man that is clear on what his wants and needs are in life in this case a woman. I encourage all of us to look at ourselves in the mirror, really see YOU as strong, worthy and confident human beings. We can attract much more great things and valuable relationships when you value yourself more. You get back what you put out, so put out high value and you will get high value back to you. You’ll see your relationships well start shifting; all relationships.


Are you Being true to Yourself?

2b958bb972947ee31ed8f631951ed3c0 Hello there! It has been long since I’ve written something; well 2 weeks, which is kind of long but nothing was coming to me until now, except now I have more questions. My 1st question is, Who are we really? Are we who we say we are or are we most of the time pretending to be someone or something that we are not? Why is it we put on a mask when we meet someone we like? And don’t tell me you don’t because I call bullshit on that; we have all done it.

Why is it so difficult to show ourselves? Could it be that we are not confident enough in who we are and perhaps may think that there is not much to offer? Or we know that there are parts of ourselves that we do not like and don’t really want to show. We are all guilty of doing this at some point in our lives and it is very scary to show who you are to a stranger because we are scare of being judged wrongfully, we feel that showing our true self is not good enough so we “lie” and become someone else in order to be accepted or liked. Even though most of us have done it, it is never a good idea. Yes, it is wise to be cautious and aware of who you show yourself to but in the long run, being YOU will be best. I’ve had many friends and acquaintances that complain that their friend, partner, spouse changed , etc., but did they really change or were they just pretending to be something they are not to be accepted or liked by you or others? It is difficult to see when that happens and some of us do not understand. But when someone shows you who they are good or bad, believe them; then it will be your choice to accept them as they are and keep them in your life if you so desire. 

On another note, perhaps people do change. I personally don’t think people change. I think people consciously make the choice to do, think and act differently therefore they obtain a different result; I guess that process is called change, Hmmmmmm! However, the essence of who they are deep in their core is the same. I believe in showing your true self to everyone, therefore people will know who you are and will accept you, like you, even love you for YOU and not your altered ego. Show that you have insecurities, that you make mistakes, you don’t act accordingly at times, that you are passionate, you are loving, that you are sensitive and if that’s the case, (of course I don’t think it is wise to show all at once). Isn’t it better that the people around you love you for the good and the bad in you than a MASK? Also, you will feel so much better about yourself that you stayed true to YOU and if you don’t fit someone else’s agenda it is ok. We don’t have to be liked by everyone only the people that really matter to YOU in the end.

Are we really AWARE? Are you paying attention to you?

ac0c496cae1c3f53705c7f998e022c56Most of us like to believe we are open minded, open to new things, new cultures, new people yet we keep attracting the same scenarios in our lives. Are we really open and when I say open I mean open to all things the universe has to offer and all its possibilities? We complain that we cannot find a better job that pays more, that there are no good people, find a great lover or companion or start a new hobbies; but who is stopping us? Why are we experiencing the same things over and over again? We like to think we are open minded but are we really? To tell you the truth, I don’t think we are as open and as aware as we say we are. We all want to better our lives in every possible way, example, better pay, better housing, a great lover, a great body , etc., so why do we keep getting the same results? Do you know why? It is our believe system. We are F*****P! (well just a little bit). How can we create a new experience if we are living in the past and we believe there is only one way to achieving our ultimate goal, whichever it may be? Why are we conditioned to think the only way to get the sum of 10 is adding 5+5; why not 6+4, 9+1, 6.5+3.5, etc. As you see there are a lot more possibilities and equations yet we only go for the most comfortable, known route which is  5+5 and is automatic, like a reflex.  Don’t you some times think why does this always happen to me? And we hate ourselves for falling for the same things over and over; and we blame outside sources because we are not aware that it is us. It’s our believe system from our unconscious mind and our lack of awareness about it; if we don’t change our believes, how we react, how we take action on the situations at hand, we will always end up with the same result. As Albert Einstein said once: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” And yes, it is a difficult concept to accept, we all do it; (believe me it is, I am guilty of doing this also) but it’s in our power to change our believes in order to change the outcome and create a great future. Hear me out, how can we get six-pac abs yet we keep eating junk food and not working out? Your thoughts also need to be in correlation with your actions so you can get a different result.

We can train our brain to believe that the world is full of possibilities and that it is within our power to make so; How? Be aware of everything around you and your thoughts, think more positively, train your brain to think and know that there is not only one answer or one way to the answer, and be open, have an open mind to all the possibilities the universe has to offer. At times we are guarded and we keep our walls up because we are scare of revealing to much of ourselves and that is ok; but just be aware of it, and even if you are guarded keep an open mind and just go with caution.  Be mindful of the power of your thoughts and is limitless. Look at a kid when he’s playing with his airplane. He is living that experience of being in control of that plane and he’s in command. We as adults can do the same (we just have to put in work, but it doesn’t have to be hard).

Most of us are on autopilot most of the time and we are not aware of our thoughts and we go day by day doing the same things; we keep experiencing the same things because it is what we know and what works for us;  it’s our comfort zone. But being comfortable does not really make us grow and become better people and does not make us aware of what we are capable of. Going back the the six-pac; don’t you put your body under some stress when you workout, and it is hard and can hurt and is uncomfortable? However, once you see your body changing than you think, “OHHH, look! My muscles are showing?” And you feel so happy and accomplished; isn’t it great? Sometimes we have to be a bit uncomfortable, feel a bit scare, and most of the time is worth it and you have to take the leap of faith that it will all work out. We are all full of energy and we can use that power and energy that vibrates from our thoughts to create the best life for YOU.


The Power of Words! Why we Must Master how to use them

7dfdd888674fe416b47f7dad08daf74d (1)The basic definition of Word: a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed. This is the basic dictionary meaning however; words are a powerful tool that most of us posses and some of us have to bite our tongues, otherwise it gets cut off. We use words to express our thoughts, our feelings, our views, our likes and desires. Having said that, unfortunately we also use the same tool to speak of things we dislike, pain, loss, hate, etc. Because words are so powerful and can inflict and affect others we must be wise when using them. Look at Jesus for example; look at the things he accomplished in his short lived life, he even has miracles under his belt; on the other hand look at Adolf Hitler, he also used the power of words to influence a big group of people against another. These are just two examples of many people that have used the power of words for good and for evil; therefore we must learn how to use our words, we must learn when to speak and how to speak. This does not mean that one should stay quiet; but one must learn to listen in order to speak eloquently. One must know that words can hurt and also uplift others. How many times have you said something to someone that if you were to say it to yourself, you will be upset or hurt, or happy and joyful?

Words are a double edge sword which can be used to inflict pain on others, (at times we don’t realize it, until it’s too late) and also we are able to inspire love, joy, happiness, reflections, and influence in a good way. I say, whenever you want to give an opinion, express your feelings, share your views; you must listen to yourself first and act as if you were saying it to yourself, see how it feels to you and how it sounds; if it doesn’t feel good to you and it’s not something that is not uplifting or making any situation or person better than try it again, try another way, until you feel good about it then there is a better chance of  what you’re saying not being misconstrued.  Just remember that regardless of how much we try, some things will take a different shape depending on the receptor; but if you learn to listen first and then speak, or just stay silent; silence speaks volumes without having to use any words.

We attract what we speak most, so speak well of others and most importantly of yourself.

Investing! Should be your #1 Priority!

INVEST copyInvesting! When we hear the word investing most of us have a question mark on our faces; unless we are in finance or banking most of us have no clue. But I beg to differ, most of us know how to, but we are not aware that we can. When I say invest, I mean to invest in Oneself. Most of us go through weeks and months and never stop to really do something for ourselves. You are your number 1 priority and you should always take care of yourself first before others. Yes, it is selfish act but you will regret it if you give all you have and expect people to do the same.

I am very guilty of always saying YES and being there for people (unfortunately expecting the same). I have a hard time saying no and I put others priorities before mine. It is a good trait to have, I am very giving. However it’s not good when you have to sacrifice what you want to do or yourself in order to fulfill others needs and desires. We must invest in ourselves first. We must be happy with ourselves first in order to give the best of ourselves to others without sacrificing our desires or our integrity. I say, join a dance class, do yoga, learn a new skill, meditate, lift weights, eat better, invest some money, why not? Do whatever you feel like doing that makes you feel good and empowered and that you are in control of your joy and your life. Once you start investing in yourself you will be more fulfilled as a person and people will admired and respect that. We first must be fulfilled within ourselves in order to share ourselves to others. By doing so, you will be able to share your true self and your amazing energy with people that will value it and will not take you for granted.

Remember: When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” Paolo Coelho

Gracias! Thank you! Merci! Arigato! Obrigado!

320438e4e6d543da6a25477083cf00ddThis is an open letter for everyone that has crossed my path; past and present; is a candid letter full of love and of course some pain. I’ve always said you cannot know what love is until you have felt pain, felt joy until you’ve felt sadness, felt good until you’ve felt bad, felt beautiful until you’ve felt a bit ugly from time to time. Life is about balance and in order for us to truly feel and enjoy the beautiful bountiful gifts that life has to offer; we must be open and be grateful for all our joys and our pains. Therefore I am grateful for my friends, the real good friends that are always there for me even if we don’t speak often. I am grateful for my mother, all her love and all the hard time she has given me, for my dad that always answered my questions when I was little; (maybe some of those answers were BS) but I was always pleased. I am grateful for the men in my life, the friends, the lovers, the boyfriends that I’ve had. The ones that have loved me dearly yet hurt me badly, the ones that have used me, the ones I’ve really liked but didn’t really love nor saw myself with them longterm or vice versa, the ugly ones, the pretty ones, the obnoxious ones and the ones that I can talk to for hours, the ones with amazing chemistry, the guy friends that are brutally honest to me and say that I over analyze and think too much (I am guilty of that), the supporters, and all of the above. I have been broken time and time again but I am grateful for them, I am grateful because having been broken has not made me bitter. I still believe in the power of love and its people, treating everyone as individuals and trying to see the best of them and try to deal with the worst in them. Because of those I am strong and resilient. I could not be who I am today if it wasn’t for everyone that has crossed my path and taught me something, mainly about myself.

Appreciating and accepting all that life has given you, gives you power; the power to grow and evolve, to learn from your experiences and to love yourself more and more everyday……

Vulnerability! Does it Make us Stronger? Is it Worth it Baring it All?

58Interesting questions, no? Why are we so scare of being vulnerable? Why is being open so difficult?Yes, when we are open and we bare every inch of our souls, we are at risk. We are at risk of feeling free, expressing who you are as a living, vibrating being on this planet, and that is all amazing; however there are Pros and Cons to being vulnerable. The pros are that you get to really live more and allow more things to manifest because you are open to receiving them. The cons are that when you are vulnerable you are subject to be taken advantage of, and getting hurt. When that happens fear sets in and our own body uses its natural reflect to protect itself;  and we crawl back to our shell, that side doesn’t always feel good. But it does helps us grow as individuals, helps us experience things that make us uncomfortable good or bad at times and because of those experiences we become much stronger and more resilient than before. In my experience I’ve been on both sides, yet I’ve learned that being vulnerable is a sign of strength and not weakness because it takes an incredible amount of courage to bare your most purest and candid self to the world and to others. I’m not saying you should go all in without knowing and gaging the risks when trying to be vulnerable; still proceed with caution and put somethings in perspective. Try making a list of all possibilities with pros and cons about whatever situation you’re going through, at the end if you have more pros than cons then there’s your answer; (however be really honest and do not lie to yourself about the situation). Or try and follow your instincts. We disregard this powerful insight and sometimes it is so spot on that some times we kick ourselves for not listen to it. It’s worth the try, if it doesn’t work then, oh well you might learn something that you never knew about yourself.  And remember, “ But if these years have taught me anything it is this: You can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.” Juno Diaz

Expectations! Two sides of the same Coin

0739aa04bfdaf7ffff5df7b18ebbcbfaThis is a tough one. Is it bad to have high expectations? Or is it just bad to have high expectations of others instead of ourselves? I have always been very hard on myself with everything that I do, maybe it has to do with the way I was raised. My mom always worked hard and she still does; she would always say that everything is work and if you want to get somewhere you have to do the best you can and work hard at it. Basically don’t be mediocre whatever you do (I agree). But it just makes me wonder, are we working so hard because other people (our peers) expect it of us? Because they expect the best of us that if we fail at something they would be disappointed? So, are we doing things in order to not disappoint our peers or ourselves?

I think expectations for oneself is good because it gives you a goal or point where to aim and where do you see yourself; but where it gets tricky is that sometimes we put ourselves through so much pressure because of our families, our friends and the world and we start comparing ourselves to others instead of focusing on our journey and that the only person that really matters and that you are in competition to be better than is YOU.

Yet the other side of the coin is when you expect so much from others and they disappoint you. We have all been there; any type of relationships that you might have had. We have built this magical realistic idea about a situation or someone and they failed to fulfill it. But we have to remind ourselves that you have to try and see things & people for who they are and not how you want to see them. The less expectations you have the less the disappointments you will encounter and the more honest they will become in your eyes.

One must let go of expectations in order to live more at peace with ourselves and others. Lets pay more attention to our actions and our journey. The right situation and the right people will show up at the right time and right place. Let go of the idea of how you think things are supposed to be, remember the best things are unexpected and not scripted.

Are you Vibrating in the Right Frequency?

cropped-photo.jpgAs stated it by Albert Einstein “Everything in Life is Vibration”. In school we have learned in  chemistry class about these little particles called atoms that are full of positive and negative energy charges moving around at different frequencies. The most common of these particles that exist in the world is carbon and carbon is what makes up all the matter is in this world including us humans; therefore we are all energy vibrating at different frequencies. We are really no different from the spoon we eat with, than the water we drink nor the skin we inhabit.

If we are all energy emitting at different frequencies, can we redirect that vibrating frequency to change the outcome of our existence? Perhaps we can, if we are aware of the things that go on around us and outside without wanting to control it and just direct that energy onto something that you and only you have the power of changing, only then we will have a different outcome. (“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the different result” Albert Einstein).

I personally think it’s a bit difficult when unfortunate situations happen to us. Even I have a hard time looking at a situation when is negative and getting out of that negativity; nevertheless redirecting that energy in something more productive, more relevant to you other than the situation at hand; and perhaps the situation whatever it may be is teaching you something valuable; maybe that is the way to redirect our energy and change the frequency, so it can start vibrating with the things that our heart desires.

Do something that feels good so you start vibrating at a high frequency; slowly but surely you will reap the energy you planted.

Why Perfect doesn’t quite cut it!


Is there such thing as a perfect partner or do we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find that perfect partner? Is perfection what we seek or it is just an erroneous perception of what we think is perfect? I mean we are all different unless you’re an identical twin but even then, they have different personalities & wants in life. What if we find “perfect” but it actually doesn’t fulfill us? Maybe our perception about it is wrong and it is actually more about being different and about connecting in different levels. Wouldn’t you say that perfect is boring? I mean according to some religious beliefs we are all made in the perfect image of GOD; so we are already perfect yet different. I think we are meant to be diverse and unique in our own way that is perfect for me. So why is it that we think we have an idea of perfection when we are already perfect? As far as relationships between men and women we all have standards and qualities that we search in a partner however we are so fixated on perfection that we disregard what really matters. I am not saying we have to lower our standards; but we have to compromise and let go of the idea of perfection or perfect partner; perhaps the perfect match is the one that makes you feel and be who we truly are with the bad and the good. Doesn’t it feel good to be yourself and be accepted? I say focus on connection, chemistry, communication, balance. Everything well balanced works out harmoniously. Instead of reaching or searching for perfection; search for balance.